Ca Plane Pour Moi

Courtesy of the Bonzai Torture, I mean, Culture Club

Membership of this exclusive group entitles one to an all expenses paid holiday in Bliss.

The Rules are simple:

  • Be absolutely and unconditionally politically incorrect
  • Sexism and related jokes are permitted and encouraged
  • Each group member shall give other group members the freedom and support to say whatever comes into their mind at any given moment
  • Must have prior knowledge and understanding of the etiquette of al la farte dining
  • Must fall in love a minimum of three times between parking vehicle and sauntering to reserved BCC table at de Bonzai

 

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   After many years, many questions, many misunderstandings, the Bonzai Culture Club have combined the totality of their life experiences and IQ's to solve one of the most perplexing mysteries that the Universe has ever proffered in the general direction of humankind...

The qualifications to take on this onerous task are high indeed. With a collective total of nine years high school French, at great expense and countless meetings discussing the strategy, work began on translating the lyrics of Plastic Bertrand's wonderful 70's pop ditty, Ca Plane Pour Moi. This is not to be confused, as Dayglo was, with The Damned's version, ie, same tune, entirely different lyrics - Jet Boy Jet Girl and as covered by Bon Marché, aka The Newz, circa the late 70's at the Aranui Hotel, Christchurch, for a much younger Dayglo and Co's pleasure. So here we go, with profuse apologies to Plastic Bertrand (the undisputed world scrabble champion) for any and all errors in the following translation...

"Ca Plane Pour Moi"

Wham!
Bam!
Someone poured whiskey on my cat, Splash
And lit him
He went "boof"
While he was on my bed

I tried to put him out with a broom
My goitre problem got in the way (I sleep naked?)
Very quickly

Ouch
Ouch
Ouch
Ouch

In four colours

Ey up!
One morning
There's loot at my place
It's my shit wrapped in plastic
Horse's in fishnets
Spare a drop in one's mouth

It's a very grand beer dance
I like my beer in a big glass
And spew

Ooo
Ooo
Ooo
Ooo

Come on you Indians in your igloos

That's life for me
Repeat twice...

Me
Repeat four times...

That's life for me
Repeat twice...

Ey up!
The mother
Is larger than a panel
What a vibration
And a voyage through passion

Be my dirty passenger
And ride in my lime Combi
You are King of the divan

Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh

I'm King of the divan
That's life for me
Repeat twice...

Ey up!
Occupy me
Touch my trinkets
Touch my little house plant
It's not today that I wish to talk of tambourines
Or the head of a mannequin

Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

That's life for me
Repeat thrice...

Ey up!
My Nana's the best
She's bizzarre
Marry me
And carry my case
Lever me onto the bar
My life force will come for a grand cocktail

Oh yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

Dance on the plate
That's life for me
My life for me

How well did the Bonzai Culture Club do? Check out this translation de la anglais...

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